Thursday, March 20, 2008

900 Miles Per Gallon?


"There must be some sort of trick," you're asking.

Not at all! The 900 mile-per-gallon vehicle really does offer:

900 Miles per
gallon on inexpensive fuel available everywhere!

Now, folks, the 900 mile-per-gallon vehicle consists of two parts:
  • The chassis, and when I say "the chassis", I mean not just the frame, but all the parts and accessories that go on the frame, including the wheels, tires, brakes, seats and steering, cargo compartment, and cup holder, and
  • The engine.

The secret is in the engine, but before we get to that, let's talk a little about the amazing range of chassis and accessories you can find on the 900-mile-per-gallon vehicle.

The chassis is available in a wide range of prices and styles and it comes with a terrific range of accessories.

The price range is truly fantastic. You can purchase a chassis for as little as $5 or you can spend up to $5000 on a high-end luxury model. It's a lot like choosing between a used Yugo to a new Mercedes, except you can't find even a used Yugo for $5, and you certainly can't find a new Mercedes for $5000, so the 900 mpg vehicle is much less expensive to purchase than a regular car. In fact, you may already own a usable one.

OK, so now you know a little about the chassis of the 900 mpg vehicle. A little later I'll tell you where and how to purchase one—information you won't find anywhere else! But first we need to talk about the real secret ofthe 900 mpg vehicle:

The Engine:
  • It's not available in any store!
  • Due to an obscure 1865 constitutional amendment, it's not available for sale anywhere in the US!
  • However, most people already have a suitable engine. Your family may have several! It just needs to be tuned up!
    That's why we're here... to tell you how!

    We'll get back to the chassis in a minute, but first some more about the engine:

    • It doesn't come with a warranty. (After all, who would offer you a warranty, since there's no
      seller?)The engine has a 75 year average lifetime (often even 50% more! and it works better the more you use it!
    • It's low pollution.
    Isn't that great!?

    Look at the amazing advantages of the 900 mpg vehicle:

    • It's small and light--it can even be shipped by air freight.
    • It goes almost everywhere--even places 4-wheel drives can't.
    • It is inexpensive to maintain (even the tires cost less than $20 apiece).
    • There's a wide range of accessories available. You can even purchase extra cargo space or extra seats--just like a minivan.
    • It's America's most popular recreational vehicle.
    • The 900 mpg vehicle actually saves everybody money because it needs smaller lanes and causes no road damage. That makes everybody's takes less. Imagine: your neighbor can save you money by using the 900 mpg vehicle!
    • It's the ideal commuting vehicle; you'll actually enjoy commuting to and from work with the 900 mpg vehicle.
    • It's safe: about the same injury-accident rate per hour or per mile of operation as an automobile--if you know how to use it.
    • You can park it almost anywhere!
    Now to be perfectly honest (have I ever lied to you?), I'm going to tell you about the disadvantages of the 900 mpg vehicle:
    • It has a relatively low top speed. (but its average speed is about the same as the average speed on L.A. freeways).
    • It's not really the best vehicle for long trips (though lots of people have taken coast-to-coast vacations with them).
    • It's not really the best vehicle for use in freezing or wet weather (though many people do use them).

    Here are some things I'll bet you haven't thought about:
    • The average trip in the U.S. is less two (2) miles! So, you really don't need a very fast
      vehicle or a long distance vehicle for most trips.
    • If most people used our 900 mpg vehicles for just the short trips, traffic congestion would disappear! The air would be cleaner! And it would be a whole lot quieter and safer for our children.
    OK, so now you're wondering, "What is he selling," and "What is it gonna cost?"
    • We're not selling hardware.
    • We're not selling supplies.
    • We're not selling vitamins or minerals.
    • We're only selling an idea, and it's


    All we ask is the same thing that every multi-level marketing organization asks: that you tell other folks about the great things you've learned from this show. We'll show you how to do that, and we'll show you how to join our organization and get all the benefits of our marketing plan.

    But first, you have to find your engine and get it tuned up, and we have lots of free literature to help you do that. We also have free group get-togethers every Saturday morning to help you learn what you need to know to get the job done.

    Isn't that amazing?

    So what is this idea?

    The CHASSIS of our 900 mpg vehicle is a BICYCLE, and the ENGINE is YOU.

    We've got free literature to help you learn how to use this amazing vehicle and help you get your engine tuned up. We'll offer you personal advice and we're here to answer your questions.

    We also consult with the city and county on bicycle issues and we lobby for appropriate bike facilities to make it easier for you to use your 900 mpg vehicle in Washington
    and the Portland Metro area.

    All we ask is that you try it. If you like it, tell your friends. To help you do all of that, you can join our marketing organization for the unbelievably low price of just $25 per year. You heard me right! Not $5000, not $500, but a measly $25 per year.

    But you'd better hurry, this offer won't last long. Look at what you'll get:

    You'll get personal invitations to all our planning meeting, sent to you by either US
    mail or electronic mail—both if you prefer!

    You'll get our Saturday morning tune-up session schedule delivered the same way.

    But that's not all!

    You'll get our newsletter telling you what's going on in the 900 mpg vehicle world. We'll tell you where to take your vehicle for fun, what facilities the city and county are planning, and how you can help speed those plans along. We'll tell you what groups are planning organized rides and tell you about commercial tours. It's all right there!

    But wait—there's more:

    You'll get free classified ads in the newsletter and on our internationally acclaimed World Wide Web site to help you buy or sell 900 mpg equipment (no engines please).

    And you'll get the support of other 900 mpg enthusiasts.

    If you act now, you'll be sure to get our September/October schedule delivered to your door very soon.

    So, line up, sign up, and join WashCo BTC today! You can join the BTC online!

    All right, there's one nagging question left:

    So how do we figure it's a 900 mpg vehicle?

    This is the fine print, for the mathematically inclined.

    We are comparing fuel economy between a motor vehicle and a human on a bicycle. Can we make it a fair comparison? We can if we can find a fuel that can (at least theoretically) power both a motor vehicle and a human. Naturally, it would be even better if the fuel really is a liquid. We're in luck, there is such a thing; it's vegetable oil!

    Vegetable oil can readily be used as a fuel for small diesel engines. Remember the story about the guy who ran his Volkswagen Rabbit on used McDonald's French-fry oil? There a more recent story about a Joshua and Kaia Tickell who are traveling around the country in their Winnebago powered by used Long John Silver's frying oil. (A fishy story if I ever heard one.)

    Now that we have a comparable fuel for both humans and cars, all we have to do is figure out how far someone can ride a bike on a gallon of oil.

    An exercise table suggests that an average person burns about 600 food calories (Kcal) per hour when he rides a bicycle at 16 miles per hour. (Note: 16 mph is not very fast; almost anyone can ride a bicycle all day at that speed. Racers can easily average 25 mph.) That means that a commuting
    bicyclist burns

    (600 Kcal/hr) /(16 miles/hr) = 37.5 Kcal/mile.

    How many Kcal are in a gallon of vegetable oil? That’s easy! Fat is 9 kCal per gram, and there are about 3785 ml per gallon (assuming about 1 gram per ml), so the energy content in a gallon is

    (3785 g) * (9 Kcal/g) = 34,000 Kcal,

    Note that published figures for the energy content of gasoline are around 34,000 to 35,000 Kcal/gallon, so our calculation is in the same ballpark as the estimates given by other sources.

    Finally, we divide the energy content of a gallon with the energy required to go one mile to get our miles per gallon. A gallon of fuel will take a bicycle

    (34,000 Kcal/gallon) / (37.5 Kcal/mile) = 906 miles/gallon!

    Many thanks and original credits to Randy Hudson and all the good folk at Loveland Colorado P.E.D.A.L.

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